Right now is American Thanksgiving and I’m one of many many people (hopefully, expensive god hopefully) who is selecting to not have a good time the vacation with a giant household gathering. It sucks, but it surely’s a obligatory sacrifice in order that we are able to all be protected, wholesome, and alive to spend subsequent Thanksgiving collectively.
This story initially ran on November 26, 2020. We’re republishing it as we speak for Thanksgiving 2025.
Even with out the specter of covid hanging over us, it’s been a very long time since my prolonged household gathered collectively and had a great old school Thanksgiving meal. I miss my mom’s turkey and my aunt’s dressing (she at all times made two sorts: oyster and non-oyster). I miss my different aunt’s collard greens and her black-eyed peas and the candy potatoes she garnished with marshmallows and pecans. Most of all, I miss my granny’s dinner rolls, who nobody’s been capable of recreate since she handed away final January.
There are these of us who, whether or not by covid-imposed isolation or different bittersweet causes, can be spending the day with our online game households as an alternative of our actual ones. Right here’s what I feel my online game household would carry to the Thanksgiving feast.

Barret Wallace (Last Fantasy VII Remake)
This man doesn’t prepare dinner. There’s no technique to know if he merely can’t or gained’t. If he can’t do it within the microwave, it won’t be performed. He depends on others, particularly girls, to feed his baby. Not as a result of he has antiquated fascinated with gender roles, however as a result of someday deep in his previous a kitchen morally wronged him and he forswore cooking endlessly after.
He can grill his ass off although. Despite the fact that it’s Thanksgiving, count on an ideal brisket.

Grace Walker (Wolfenstein: The New Colossus)
Grace Walker is the sort of Black auntie who cooks the Thanksgiving feast cussing and fussing with a cigarette in her hand the complete time with not nary an ash spilled. She’s the one auntie who can prepare dinner prepare dinner and is the one one granted the privilege of constructing the macaroni and cheese. It’s silly to ask her for the recipe—measurements, timing, and elements change in line with her will—but it surely tastes the identical and so damned good each time. There’s a purpose your older kin won’t eat macaroni and cheese not ready her hand and can verbally destroy anybody who tries to usurp her hallowed place. Doesn’t eat pork.

Athena (Hades)
Athena is the bougie aunt who thinks she’s higher than everybody else as a result of she acquired a complicated diploma and studied overseas in Greece for just a few years. She sometimes geese out of the celebration to place out some hearth at work by “granting a boon.” You don’t know what she does, however you get the sensation all her coworkers are jerks.
She brings store-bought cookies for dessert that nobody eats.

Clementine (The Strolling Lifeless)
Like Barret, she doesn’t prepare dinner. By no means realized. Feeds herself solely by DoorDash. She’s very useful although, and at all times keen to help within the kitchen. Auntie Grace incessantly chases her out as a result of she’s in the best way. The household matriarch chastises her for “yelling at her baby.”

Cullen Rutherford (Dragon Age: Inquisition)
Cullen is the white boyfriend everybody tolerates as a result of he’s cute and deeply spiritual. Needs to be instructed to take off his footwear. Wonders aloud the place all of the casseroles are.

Sazh Katzroy (Last Fantasy XIII)
Sazh is the uncle who insists everybody calls him “unc.” He’s the social gathering uncle and the Thanksgiving DJ. Continuously places on the previous hits that everyone is aware of however will nonetheless say “whatchu know about this right here?” to his youthful nieces and nephews. Adores his younger son.
Doesn’t carry something besides a deck of playing cards. Will homicide the complete household at Spades.

Prince Zagreus (Hades)
Clementine’s pal from faculty who appeared kinda unhappy and pathetic so she introduced him house together with her. Is by some means linked to Athena however neither of them elaborates. Doesn’t like answering questions on his household. Doesn’t carry any meals however does carry a bitchin’ bottle of one thing that everybody needs to strive.
Doesn’t keep lengthy.

Kazuma Kiryu (Yakuza 0)
Overseas change pupil?? Significantly no person is aware of how he acquired there however no person cares as a result of he’s such a candy boy. Appears to be like robust, however nonetheless performs with all of the baby cousins. Huge Mama asks if she will be able to repair him a plate. He’s your brother now.

Commander Zavala (Future 2)
Can throw down within the kitchen. Makes the collard greens, one with hamhocks and one with out for Auntie Grace. She is impressed by his thoughtfulness and makes an attempt to slide him her quantity. Zavala makes bizarre excuses about “Europa” and “protecting humanity” and slips out the again door.


